We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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