I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
