You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My balls are so social today.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
