I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
