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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.

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• (310): View more from California

  just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.

  (310): View more from California

  now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!

  (310): View more from California

  whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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• (805): View more from California

  He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.

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• (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza

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• (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown

  (217): View more from Illinois

  And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.

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