Pappa wants mamma naked
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I skipped work to stalk him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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