Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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