It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
