Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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