considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
