I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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