:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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