But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
