I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
