If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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