She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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