Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
