why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
