She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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