I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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