that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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