wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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