hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Less talking, more tequila
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
