you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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