it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
