As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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