Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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