Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
