Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize