Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize