We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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