my sisters under your porch take her home
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
