I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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