Your face is a jimmy john
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
