after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
