my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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