I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How does it feel to date your dad?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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