got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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