Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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