I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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