yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
