The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
