if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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