We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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