I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
