This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
worst night to have a conscience
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
