i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
3 2 1 whiskey
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
