i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
