i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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