Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
