At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
