Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
