I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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