do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
