she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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