the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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