brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
