reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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