I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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