My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
