...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
