if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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