Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize