You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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