Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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