Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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